I know, I know we were all supposed to go to Elgin Street with that yummy Joe guy, but I was just soooooo excited about our trip that I wanted to surprise you all and get here before everybody so, like, I could get us a place to stay and find some super-yummy restaurants (since I’m a reviewer and everything now).
So, okay, here I am on Elgin Street in this coffee shop.
I got us all super-cool rooms at the Four Seasons which is just around the corner from Elgin Street since there weren’t any really good hotels right on Elgin Steet.
Also, I made reservations at this amazing restaurant where I’ve already been to try it. It’s called Enoteca – I don’t really know how to say it. But, you guys are going to die from super-yummines when you eat here.
If you’re wondering, Daddy gave me one of his chefs, Lee, to borrow so he could help me get here and find everything and also to talk to some of the people because they’re can’t really speak English for some reason.
Lee’s really nice and he’s been super-helpful, but tell Joe, not to worry because we still need him for most of the trip because Lee’s kind of old and gets tired a lot. He’s going home and soon as you guys all get here.
Okay, so here’s a picture of Elgin Street, so you’ll know where to go and recognize it when you get here.
I can’t wait to see you all.!!!! Miss you!!!!! xxxxooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 1, 2008 at 11:09 am
You’re so smart Shell, gettin’ there first. What language is it that they speak on Elgin St Shelly? Maybe foxes speak it. Foxes speak many languages you know.
February 1, 2008 at 11:19 am
It looks so TALL there! And dangerous, just like we suspected.
Shelly, have you seen The Chair yet? Is he as cute as his picture? What about Aggie and Coyote? (I hope you haven’t crossed paths with that Evil Dwarf yet!)
February 1, 2008 at 11:33 am
Is there a coyote there Chaisey? Foxes don’t always get along with coyotes. Not since they drove us out of Greely.
What a ride that was! Foxes are still talkin’ about it. I don’t think a single one of them coyotes had his license.
February 1, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Hi Guys!!!
Lee says they speak something called “Chinese”!! How do you like that? They have a whole language named after food!!! That’s so totally super-cool.
It IS really super-tall here, Chaisie, but they have this elevator thing right on the street, like you can see in the picture.
I haven’t seen Chair or Aggie, but there are a lot of people here who could be Dwarf, ’cause everyone on Elgin Street is kind of on the dwarfy side and I haven’t seen anything that looks like a coyote — at least not one that looks alive and not hanging from a hook in a shop.
It’s sooooo much fun here on Elgin Street,but it will be soooo much more fun when you guys all get here. When are you coming? The hotel is awesome — did you look at the photos??
February 1, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Hey, um, did anyone else notice that Empty’s “Elgin” Street looks very much like it’s in another country? And not a few blocks east of our homes on Bank? Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t see a Sugar Mountain in those pictures, and I am quite familiar with their dumpster…
February 1, 2008 at 1:57 pm
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMYGOD!!! I just looked at the hotel pictures! Did you SEE all those chaises hanging out by the pool???
I’ve found my peeps!!! They’re on Elgin Street!!
February 1, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Oh darn, Chaisie — I was hoping to save those for a big surprise.
And, what do you mean “another country”, Elfie? I didn’t know you’d been to Elgin Street before??!! Maybe you just don’t recognize stuff from my pictures because I’m not very good at working the camera.
I told Daddy that we’d hired a sherpa to take us to Elgin Street and how we got all our shots and everything and how I wanted to go early to surprise everyone and he made all the arrangements. So, WHEN are you guys getting here???
February 1, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Hi Gang.
The first thing you all need to know about adventure travel is that it’s not a good idea for you to wander off in different directions. We should all stick together, for everybody’s safety.
The second thing you all need to know is that an ounce of preparedness is worth nine stitches. With that in mind, I’m going to be running a boot camp to get you guys in top physical and mental condition for the Elgin Street trek.
This is mandatory. No exceptions. We’re all going to be depending on each other for our lives out there, so we owe it to ourselves and each other to be ready.
I’ll meet you all at 5:00 am SHARP tomorrow morning at the park beside the liquor store. Get a good night sleep tonight – you’ll need it.
February 1, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Well heck Joe, unfortunately I have a previous commitment which may undispose me towards being in attendance, so I hope you all work up a good sweat down there in that frozen park and I’ll be seeing you next time!!
That’s in about two weeks, right Joe?
February 1, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Hmmph. The Autonomous Eye is in perfect shape. Round that is.
February 1, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Silly Joe… I’m already at Elgin Street and it took ever so long to get here and I have to stay so I can save the super-wonderful hotel rooms for everyone. Also, I already have a really super-gigantic collection of boots. But thanks. I’ll just wait for you here.
February 1, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I’ll try to make it Joe but I have to go to some appointments first, Billy’s supposed to get his shots and I’m supposed to get my hair done and I have a fitting for this wedding of my cousin Laura’s second daughter Shirl at which I’m supposed to be one of the maids of honour so I’ll try to make it down there right on time Joe but I might be a few minutes late and I was wondering if you could hold some of the kids while I do my exercises, ok Joe? Most of them don’t usually bite.
February 1, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Posted by Shagatha’s Personal Assistant
Shagatha is astonished to discover that for once Empty Shell is the only person in this group that is making any sense whatsoever. She would further like to point out that perhaps Sherpa Joe is getting a bit bellicose for this group.
February 1, 2008 at 5:58 pm
You going to boot camp Shags? Haw!!!
February 1, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Sherpa Joe? I can’t leave the apartment till after my owner is gone or else she’ll find out that I have special human characteristics that the genie gave me and then I’ll lose my special human characteristics and turn right back into a plain old chaise, and she never leaves the apartment before 7:00. But I can be there at 7:15, okay Sherpa Joe?
February 1, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Oh frig — one of the smaller kids just barfed and seems to have a temperature, so I don’t think I’ll be able to make this boot camp. Also, exercise is not really my thing, as I’m sure everyone who’s seen me has realized. Maybe later in the afternoon I could make it to Tim Horton’s if you want to change the plan
February 1, 2008 at 6:25 pm
I’ll be there.
February 1, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Gang,
I don’t think any of you are clear on the concept of NO EXCEPTIONS.
We’re talking survival here – yours and mine. And the survival of each and every one of us depends on the fitness, preparedness and acuity of each and every member of our team. A rope is only as strong as its weakest link.
So I don’t give a rat’s ass how many boots you own, what your other engagements might be, how round you are, what your genie said or how savage your fucking kids are. Either you show up tomorrow morning at five sharp or you’re off my team. Capiche?
February 1, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Heck Joe, don’t be like that. Fat neck says he’s going to be there so you and old fats can exercise together until the sun comes up and then we’ll catch you later on down at Tim Horton’s like Pandy said, ok Joe? Ok Joe? Ok?
February 1, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Fox, I like you guys and I don’t want anybody gettin’ hurt on my watch. I just can’t in good conscience take you to Elgin Street until you’re ready. And you guys ain’t ready. Not by a long shot.
February 1, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Posted by Shagatha’s Personal Assistant
Shagatha does not appreciate Sherpa Joe’s attitude, nor his language, nor his capitalization of words indicating a raised voice. Shagatha is of the opinion that Sherpa Joe ought to remember his place as the hired help in this situation. Shagatha feels that Sherpa Joe ought to (as the young people say) “get bent”.
February 1, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Shagatha, with all due respect, I was hired to escort your team safely to Elgin Street and back. I take that responsibility very seriously. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve gotten to know these guys and it’s more than just a job now, it’s personal. I broke my own damned rule with that one.
February 1, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Well! I guess that’s it then. Hey Joe, can we have our money back?
February 1, 2008 at 8:48 pm
As Audrey would say, “No.”
February 1, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Who’s Audrey Joe?
February 1, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Just some dame who knows how to say no, Fox.
February 2, 2008 at 8:49 am
Well, at least fat neck and megan showed up. As for the rest of you, all I can say is Hmph.
February 2, 2008 at 9:19 am
Fat neck is suspected of being in cahoots with the evil ESI dwarf. He might even be the evil dwarf! Megan is the ESI blog adviser!
GASP!! Sherpa Joe is a spy for the ESIs!!
I’m sending that video to Audrey.
February 2, 2008 at 9:46 am
Whoah, I go on a drinking bender, and look what happens. Maybe we should have another Emergency Meeting and talk about all this? Besides, I still haven’t found someone to cat-sit, and I’ve been having nightmares about thieving dwarves…
February 2, 2008 at 10:12 am
Pretty sad situation, guy comes around steals Shelly’s dad’s money, insults us all, steals our secrets, and we trusted him with all our big soppy hearts.
Not the first time I’m glad to be one of nature’s creatures, not some damn human. Let’s go get drunk Elf.
February 2, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Posted by Shagatha’s Personal Assistant
Shagatha would like you all to know that if you decide Sherpa Joe is a bit overwhelming, she will personally escort you all safely to Elgin Street.
February 2, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Now, does this mean Shagatha would “escort” us, or does this mean she would be an “escort”?
Yes, Foxy. Drinks are on me!
February 3, 2008 at 8:27 am
Okay, maybe I got a little carried away and let the sherpa shit go to my head. It was my first sherpa gig and I wanted to be the best damned sherpa there ever was. I didn’t want to lose a single one of you on the Elgin Street trek.
Last night I drank a bottle of Jack Daniels and staggered over to Elgin Street by myself. I figure if I can do it drunk, you can probably do it without boot camp…or me.
I woke up this morning with no way to hold my head that didn’t hurt. And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, so I had one more for dessert.
Now I’m gonna put on my cleanest dirty shirt and stumble down to the Tally-Ho Tavern, where I’ll leave your money with the barmaid.
I feel like I’ve lost something somewhere, somehow along the way.
February 3, 2008 at 9:12 am
Ha-ha! That’s a big two-hearted load of baloney and you know it, Joe! Or should I say… Mr.Dwarf???
Now this Tally-Ho Tavern… Of all the gin joints in the world, why’d you pick that one, Joe?
Could that be your… Usual Spot??? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!
Turning, turning……
February 3, 2008 at 9:49 am
Why are you guys being so mean to Joe?? He’s not a dwarf! I googled dwarfs and they don’t look anything like Joe.
February 3, 2008 at 11:31 pm
There is danger everywhere little Chaise. He was in cahoots.
March 1, 2008 at 5:56 pm
[...] down the street looking for the Tally-Ho Tavern but we couldn’t find it. Shelly kept saying Elgin Street didn’t look the same as she [...]