January 19, 2008
Dear Chaise,
Here is a picture of the “napkin ring.” Yes, yes, most attractive against your lovely red skin. But now I must be off!
We have learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Fourth Dwarf is really a pirate. Not a little sleepy miner. And he may have a neck. But he cannot hide for long from the piercing gaze of the Autonomous Eye!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 1, 2008
Turning, turning… Seeking, seeking…
I have it! The so-called Fourth Dwarf is really this dwarf rabbit named Zoey!!
Zoey lives in Halifax with little Amy Zuckerman. How cute, how diabolical!
But wait…
Turning, turning… Seeking, seeking…
No! Without a doubt the Fourth Dwarf is really this dwarf African frog named Benji!!
Benji lives in a pet shop in Timmins. He can’t wait to be adopted into a nice family.
But wait!! Turning, turning… Seeking, seeking…
Zooming in…….
December 23, 2007
It has come to our attention that the members of that other blog post under assumed names!
No matter. No secret is safe from the piercing gaze of the Autonomous Eye.
The Eye will now disclose the true identity of the so-called Fourth Dwarf. Turning… turning… seeking… seeking…
I have it! Without a doubt the Fourth Dwarf is Munchkin Jerry Maren from The Wizard of Oz.
Fourth Dwarf, shown in the middle of this picture, lives in Omaha with his cat Rusty. He is 111 years old.
But wait! We have been misled! That is not the real Fourth Dwarf! Jerry Maren does not know how to use a computer.
Turning… turning…
Seeking… seeking…
Sneakin' 'round the dark alleys of the city, sniffin' out the dirt, snackin' on pigeons don'cha know...
La Chaise lives in a shabby little room in a second-story apartment in the sketchy part of Bank Street. She's considering reupholstery.
Panda lives life on the edge, occasionally toppling off. A harried single mother of five, she smokes a lot of bamboo, which contributes to her bamboozlement, but helps keep her sane.
Shagatha says, “Shag You!”
Do not attempt to approach Shagatha.
Do not speak directly to Shagatha.
We will not be held responsible if you do anything to irk Shagatha.
You can find Third Elf living in an alley behind an undisclosed Bank Street bar. When he's not following bureaucrats to work and stealing their wallets, he takes care of abandoned cats and collects lost mittens. He has a serious sweet tooth, and could spend hours in the dumpster behind Sugar Mountain. He also has a weakness for absinthe. Have you been followed by the Third Elf lately?
