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Like, O.M.G., you’ll never guess what? I’m at the big Shell in Sydney, Australia to celebrate NYE.!!!!! Oh, and you know how I was supposed to be in Paris before right, because Daddy said he was sending me there for my Christmas present, but really – are you ready – really he sent me to Montreal!!!! How crazy is that? I guess I must have not heard him right or something or maybe he was playing a trick on me – as usual!! Oh well, anyway, I had suuuuchhhh a good time, wherever I was and everyone talked French, so what’s the difference, right? Thanks Daddy. And ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone here is talking Australian, so this time I’m pretty sure I’m in the right spot ’cause they don’t talk Australian anywhere else, right?

So, anyway, I’m supposed to tell stuff about my life and everything. So, okay, I live with Daddy. He’s really nice and calls me his princess and spends just oodles of money on me and sometimes likes to play jokes on me to make me laugh. We have sooooo much fun together. Mummy died when I was just really little and Daddy’s like, “whatever”, if I ask anything about her. He says she was an old witch and I’m better off without her anyway. I don’t know. Some people’s mummy’s are really super nice. My friend Gina’s mummy cooks, like, the most amazing stuff for us all the time and knits things and stuff. She’s kinda fat, but always hugs me and makes me feel super warm and fuzzy. Her hugs are really soft and cuddly –not like Daddy’s hugs…but don’t tell him because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Okay, so, I’m blond and have the cutest blue eyes and dimples and all the boys say I’m drop dead gorgeous. And lots of girls tell me that, too, so it must be true. I don’t know. I’m just me and I try to be nice to everyone and stuff and I give things to poor people all the time and once, I told an old lady how to get to the American Embassy. I knew because I used to date a guy who worked there!!! How cool was that?!!! It felt super good to be helpful. I like being helpful. So that’s me — ES. I love you all. xxxoooxx!!!!!!!!!!!

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