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4th Dwarf… Surely this isn’t you? Tell me this is the work of your evil twin dwarf brother, or your long lost dwarf cousin! Anybody who writes such lovely poems could not be capable of such crimes.

 Or… could they?

Dwarf crime a ‘growing problem’

Thieves are robbing long-distance coaches by sneaking dwarves into the luggage holds in sports bags.

Once inside, they slip out from their hiding places to rifle through the belongings of unsuspecting travellers.

Then they take their loot back to their hiding place and wait to be collected by another gang member when the coach reaches its destination, reports The Sun.

They have stolen thousands of pounds in cash, gems and other valuables in recent months.

Swebus, which ferries thousands of Brits across Sweden, has been among coach firms targeted.

A spokesman said: “We have had reports about several thefts by dwarves on the stretch between Vasteras and Stockholm.

“We’re thinking of installing video cameras.”

A Stockholm Police spokesman said: “We are looking at our records to identify criminals of limited stature.”

From Ananova 

padamonia.jpg

Thank you BSIs, for giving me a chance to join you. I think this is going to be a lot of fun. The meeting was awesome. Everyone is so funny and nice – it was great to meet all of you in person after knowing you all from your other blogs for so long. I didn’t know what to do for my first post, but since I sort of get the feeling I’d better do it soon, I figured I’d just tell you all what happened after the meeting.

A few of us gals went to Venus Envy to check out their anniversary sale. It’s the first time I’ve ever been in a place like that and I was so nervous I kept knocking things over. It seemed like those giant silicon penises deliberately jumped off the shelves as I passed by. I spent most of my time cleaning up. At one point I had a really huge bright purple member (complete with throbbing veins) vibrating in my left hand and one of those soft, squishy ones that come attached to life-like testicles flopping and squirming in right hand, when my cell phone starts ringing, very loudly to the tune of “When the Saints Go Marching In” (My ring tone seems to change into ever-more embarrassing noises daily.  I don’t know how.  I suspect the kids)

Anyway, there I am and the phone makes everyone look in my direction, which wasn’t so bad because they all seemed to think it was comical, but then at the same instant my teenage daughter walks in with her boyfriend!Well, I tell you… no one knew what to do. My daughter looked mortified. I don’t know if it was about me seeing her there or about her seeing me there, bedecked with penises. But then the boyfriend starts laughing,  so my daughter, the wise-ass smirks and says, “Aren’t you going to answer one of those? (because my phone, hidden somewhere in my pocket was still ringing — loudly).

Shagatha and LaChaise, who were with me in the shop and already way too amused at my clumsiness, just lost it at this point. They were practically on the floor laughing so long and so hard I thought they were going to damage themselves. And speaking of long and hard and damage, I did manage to put those poor phallacies back on the shelf, but not before getting tangled up in some complicated leather thing which turned out to be a male chastity belt, (see photo above) which I turned over to the boyfriend on my way out the door.

PS:  I’m still on my BSI probationary period, so I won’t tell you what Shagatha and La Chaise bought or what they made me buy.