The grammar gestapo


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Vee haff vays of making you speak properly! 

If you vomit, you retch; if you behave in a wretched manner or fall into wretched circumstances, you are a wretch. This is so simple I laugh and throw up at the same time when I have to think of it. Ha-ha-ha!!!!

Did you mean wretch?

  • Wretches are a type of locust.
  • A wretch is one who is despicable.
  • Just another ink-stained wretch.

 Maybe you meant retch?

  • retch vomit puke barf spew hurl throw up upchuck blow chunks disgorge gag regurgitate chunder lose it be sick heave drunk dry heave ralph sick chunks

…It is very quiet here. The BSIs have gone. I will be taking over from this day forward. 

The blog will be renamed in honour of myself. It will be called That_Friendly_and_Helpful_Grammar_Guy.wordpress.com.

It will deal with grammar and other interesting matters such as real estate and the importance of marching and proper haircuts. Maybe ve get a little kitty-cat and tell amusing stories about its antics.

Ha-ha-ha!! How amusing our stories vill be!

Wait, someone is at the door… Stand back a moment… I may have to shoot them…

No!! Not you!!!!!!!!

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Vee haff vays of making you speak properly! 

Or did you mean would?

  • I wood if I cood.
  • How much wood wood a woodchuck?

Maybe you meant wouldn’t?

  • I wooden give her the time of day.
  • Dont take no wooden nickels.

Or could it be would he?

  • Woody really sink this low?
  • What a gigantic woody!